Call for Proposals - Alternative Ways of Knowing

We accept proposals that outline, once and for all, what "alternative ways of knowing" are.

Trofim Lysenko (from Wikipedia)

Everyone talks about “alternative ways of knowing”. Even the first and infamous version of our Mission Statement mentioned “diverse forms of knowledge production” and why they are at least as important, if not more, than the scientific method. Inspired by Douglas Murray’s generous offer¹ of cash money to anyone who can produce an example of an “alternative way of knowing”, we, here, at the Flickering Beacon decided to find out what these “ways” mean, once and for all. Yes, we are inviting submissions for our inaugural “alternative grant” program.

We cannot offer large cash prizes because capitalism is evil and also because our salaries have been constantly eroding over the past few years (someone has to fund the increasing ranks of Associate Vice Provosts), but we will provide “alternative ways of payment”, such as colorful beads or a loaf of 2-day old bread and almost-expired Sabra hummus from the cafeteria.

Sample proposal titles are as follows:

1. Power-of-the-good knowing: Creationism and altruism against evolution and competition².

2. Equity knowing: Talent is a social construct.

3. No-hard-work knowing: Circular logic of the oppressed (i.e. accepting the status quo) against linear logic of the oppressors (i.e. trying).

4. Extranumeral knowing: Decolonize measurement: metric or imperial, still imperial.

5. Just knowing: Lysenko was right.

And also… sample titles with abstracts are here:

1. Strategic ways of knowing: Straight and direct quote out of the UMass Boston’s initial strategic plan draft (emphasis ours, everything else is 100% real):

   [W]e believe that health promoting and anti-racism is an integrative theme that can connect our strategic priorities and help our community fulfill its mission and realize its vision. Such a belief understands that we must embed health and wellness into all aspects of our campus culture, from everyday operations to our academic standards and measurements of success and promotion to accountability processes for campus interactions and outcomes. It reflects a desire to create and nurture a campus culture whose commitment to compassion, well-being, equity, restorative justice, and non-Eurocentric multicultural academic norms will improve both the overall health as well as the academic and scholarly rigor of our campus. An aspiration to be health-promoting and anti-racist, believes in an expansive and holistic view of that sees historical structures of oppression and domination, institutional racism and historical inequities, as urgent and dire problems for the health and wellbeing of all of our faculty, staff, and students, for our society, and for our earth as well.

   One has to admit that in addition to alternative ways of knowing, it is certainly an alternative use of the English language.

2. Ass intelligence knowing: Our very own Anna Savant introduced the well respected notion of ass intelligence into our coursework (although she didn’t invent it. It’s based on sacred Indigenous knowledge). Apparently, an entire institution is dedicated to the studies of the ass and its properties. Did you know that:

   There is compelling evidence to suggest that the ass’ energy field is coupled to a field of information that is not bound by the classic limits of time and space… The ass has a magnetic field a thousand times stronger than that of the brain, the strongest of any organ in the body… the ass is directly coupled to a subtle energetic field of information that is entangled in and interacts with the multiplicity of energetic fields in which the body is embedded – including that of the quantum vacuum…

   Shake it, baby!

3. Revolutionary-zeal-informed knowing:

   [W]e must ask: Do electrons, ether and so on exist as objective realities outside the human mind or not? The scientists will also have to answer this question unhesitatingly; and they do invariably answer it in the affirmative, just as they unhesitatingly recognise that nature existed prior to man and prior to organic matter. (Vladimir Lenin, Materialism and Empirio-Criticism (1909))

   So, down with Quantum Mechanics!

4. Mob rule knowing: Vote for the right Theory of Everything via choosing between the String Theory and Loop Quantum Gravity on Twitter. The losing theory creators will be immediately doxxed thereon and subjected to public struggle sessions elsewhere.

5. Mātauranga Māori (MM) knowing: Straight from Aotearoa, colonially known as New Zealand, where there was a campaign to teach noble Māori “ways of knowing” alongside science in science classes, on par with bigoted modern science. A group of heretic scientists wrote a public letter in which they made the claim that MM was not science and had no place in science courses. Some 2000 brave and stunning academics around Aotearoa, colonially known as New Zealand, signed a petition condemning the bigots. The Royal Society of Aotearoa, colonially known as New Zealand, even investigated two signatories but eventually chickened out and exculpated them. Go trust Westerners.

6. Post-Hippocrates anti-Western medical knowing: Straight from Turtle Island, colonially known as North America. The students of the University of Minnesota Twin Cities Medical School Class of 2026 recited an oath that said (emphasis ours):

   We commit to uprooting the legacy and perpetuation of structural violence deeply embedded within the healthcare system. We recognize inequities built by past and present traumas rooted in white supremacy, colonialism, the gender binary, ableism, and all forms of oppression. As we enter this profession with opportunity for growth, we commit to promoting a culture of anti-racism, listening, and amplifying voices for positive change. We pledge to honor all Indigenous ways of healing that have been historically marginalized by Western medicine.

   We will be praying for the health of all the good people of Minnesota.

7. Just knowing (again):

   [America’s Stonehedge] history is muddled partly because of the activities of William Goodwin, who became convinced that the location was proof that Irish monks (the Culdees) had lived there long before the time of Christopher Columbus, and he sought to publicize the concept. He held a strong belief that the site was built by Irish monks, and because of this he rearranged many stones to fit his theory. (Wikipedia, retrieved on Nov 7, 2022)

So, break a leg … and heal it with Reiki.

1. This video (19:40).

2. For starters, the book revered by Anna Savant, Sentipensante (Sensing/Thinking) Pedagogy: Educating for Wholeness, Social Justice and Liberation, by Laura I. Rendón, pp. 36-39, elevates symbiogenesis to almost a replacement for Darwin’s theory. Your job will be to invoke a creator/savior to explain how the first altruist mutation could have survived among the predators.