Which One Does Not Belong?

... and how to modify it to start belonging

A test similar to the one above is a staple at high-tech job interviews. And speaking of jobs, here is another test based on the projected UMB tenure-track lines, fresh from under Provost Borg’s omniscient pen¹.

Question: Which college does not belong? Emphasis ours.

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Academic years 24-25 and 25-26 Tenure Track Searches

College of Education & Human Development (CEHD)

1. Leadership in Education – Urban Education Leadership and Policy Studies

2. Counseling and School Psychology – Applied Behavioral Analysis

3. Curriculum & Instruction – Racial Politics of Public Education

4. School for Global Inclusion & Social Development – Human Rights and Law

5. Leadership in Education – Higher Education

6. Counseling and School Psychology – Sport Leadership in Administration, Focus on DEI in Sport

College of Liberal Arts (CLA)

1. Sociology – Sociology of Culture, Gender and Sexuality

2. Theatre and Performing Arts – African American Theatre or Music

3. Applied Linguistics – Culturally Responsive Reading and Literacy Instruction

4. Communication – Political Communication, Activist and Social Movements Communication

5. English – Early Modern Literatures, Focus on Critical Race, Gender, Sexuality, and Disability Studies

6. Women’s, Gender and Sexuality Studies – Reproductive Rights, Abortion Rights, and Law

7. History – Race Relations in Colonial and Revolutionary America

8. Public Policy and Public Affairs – Applied Social Science, including Public Policy

9. Sociology – Criminology & Criminal Justice, Focus on Social Justice

10. Latina American & Iberian Studies –

11. Conflict Resolution, Human Security & Global Governance - Peace & Conflict Studies, Local & Global Focus

12. Anthropology - Cultural Anthropology with an Emphasis on Urban Anthropology

13. Asian Studies/Religious Studies - Buddhist Studies

14. Psychology - Quantitative Data Analysis and Research Methodology

15. Economics – Race and Stratification Economics

College of Science & Mathematics (CSM)

1. Computer Science - Distributed and Parallel Computing

2. Computer Science - Natural Language Processing

3. Biology - Biological Questions Addressed At The Mechanistic Biochemical Level. Biochemistry

4. Engineering -

5. Biology - Neuroscience

6. Mathematics -

7. Chemistry – Computational Chemistry

8. Engineering -

9. Computer Science – Complex Systems and Data Types

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Answer: CSM: It does not have any DEI, Race, or Gender items. And everything looks so (attention, trigger warning!) rigorous (oh, behave!). But this can easily be corrected as suggested:

CSM

1. Computer Science - Distributed and Parallel Anti-Patriarchal Computing (down with the male-centric 1’s, leave 0’s only (Better yet, ditch the 0-1 binary!)

2. Computer Science - Natural Linguistic Justice Processing

3. Biology - Biological Questions Addressed At The Mechanistic Biochemical Level. Biochemistry… Too difficult, too impenetrable, cancel this one

4. Engineering - see Social

5. Biology - Neuroscience: IQ as a social construct… better still: brain as a social construct. Perhaps a conceptual penis?

6. Mathematics - Down with the aggressive phallocentric straight lines, up with the feminine circles, look how peacefully they curl inside this curvy little disk… oh, yuck, did you say “Poincaré disk”, no, not another male, cancel it

7. Chemistry – Computational Chemistry. No way this can fit, cancel it

8. Engineering - Civil Engineering without fractions, but with fractures.

9. Computer Science – Complex Systems of Oppression

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Maybe CSM will get a few more lines that way?

1. We are only listing CEHD, CLA, and CSM for brevity.