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Rudolph Rigger's avatar

Back when I was lecturing I got myself into a spot of bother.

After what seemed like a month-long morning at a dept retreat discussing the various comittees - an absurd number, almost as many as dept faculty - I suggested we create a new committee to think of new committees.

It was not well-received 🤣

I didn't dare voice my second suggestion of a committee for the appropriate use of pencil sharpeners

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Frank and Louie's avatar

Coming to think about it - faculty committees and their evil twins "working groups" are a genius invention. They achieve so many goals at once:

1. They give everyone the illusion that *something* is being done, even, and maybe especially, when nothing needs to be done or when the goal cannot be realistically achieved by one committee (or alternatively, when you don't need a committee, just a fucking change of procedure).

2. They prevent anything meaningful from actually being done because, especially on large committees, so much time is spent just getting everyone in the same room and discussing procedures and peripheral stuff.

3. They make faculty spend tons of time on meetings, writeups, reading useless documents and talking about things that have nothing to do with their research or teaching.

4. This is the most important thing of all: Regardless of what the committee or working group achieves, the associate vice Provost for pencil sharpeners can add a line to his/her CV about the highly important work done by the committee, as s/he is looking for the next cushy gig.

Perfect, isn't it?

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