Egg of Columbus
Egg of Columbus
White students found a simple solution to the complex problem of increasing the number of students of color: They self-identify as such!
A group of renown educational experts, including our Supreme Leader, devised a brave and stunning Racial Equity Plan for Massachusetts’ public higher education system. The plan abandons all pretense to fairness as they acknowledge that their plan…
…requires more than simply leveling the playing field; it requires a rewriting of the rules in recognition that the game was never designed to be fair to begin with. (p. 2)
The document lists a myriad of racist nooo… race obsessed oops… race essentialist oi, sorry again… what’s the term? “race conscious” (p. 4) ways to increase the number and retention of students of color by 2033. Spanning 65 pages, with “color” mentioned 227 times, quoting zero evidence and no research, circular like the null itself, bordering with coddling if not downright white savior complex, the opus suggests that:
Lowering the academic standards to ground zero (save athletics) is the only way to achieve racial equity.
Revolutionize the art of assessment by applying “holistic admissions practices” that go…
…beyond GPA and standardized test scores (e.g., essays) (p. 32)
These practices are especially effective in (d)evaluating the credentials of non-native speakers and kids form poor families who cannot afford to buy an essay.
Punitive measures should be replaced by restorative justice (p. 40): the word “cheating” must disappear from the language as having no phenomenon to denote.
The plan was disseminated, but not before a few dissidents who dared to suggest that it was simply racist and quite possibly illegal were swiftly sent away to re-education.
However… it turned out that it was all for nothing: the number of (self-identified)1 students of color, in particular 1/128th Native Americans, had already jumped up by 30% over the past few years, with no change to the educational structures whatsoever.
It’s time to coddle the egg!
Wait… can we still say Columbus?
In a typical self-contradictory manner of the Elect religious tradition, Kendi both condemned such an unwarranted access to the privileges and denied the existence thereof… then deleted the thread all together.