Antisemitism vs. Anti-Zionism, Explained by UMass Boston's Experts

In their own words

Since October 7, UMass Boston Students, Faculty and Staff for Justice in Palestine are having their moment in the sun. While the rest of us are busy with… you know… doing our jobs, they are busy organizing protests, exhibits and teach-ins, while still getting paid. Lately, they announced a teach-in on Antisemitism vs. Anti-Zionism, explained by a panel of experts, on March 5.

Two of the panelists are well known to our readers and need no introduction:

Our thin-skinned special friend, Comrade Jeff Melnick, who, since October 7, has been a dedicated soldier for the anti-Zionist cause.

Hamas cheerleader extraordinaire, Prof. Khayke Scottish.

The other two are:

Liz Roemer (she/her/hers), a Psychology professor, whose entire twitter feed is ceasefire, genocide, and reproductive justice.

Sommer Forrester, a Performing Arts professor. We don’t know much about her, but her only (re)tweet, from 2021, is the following:

With such a balanced, even-handed panel it is clear that we will get a nuanced, well rounded, multi-perspective discussion about antisemitism.

We can’t bring ourselves to attend the event as we are busy with… you know… doing our jobs. Therefore, let us role-play that infamous congressional hearing with our panel experts as the university presidents and the Flickering Beacon as Elise Stefanik.

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FB: Let’s start with you, Liz, since we don’t know you very well. Does Anti-Zionism constitute Antisemitism, yes or no?

Liz Roemer:

FB: Fair enough. What do you think about Zionism in general, as many of us are not very familiar with the term?

Liz Roemer:

FB: OK, that’s a bit messed up. We also see that you are mostly a retweeter. Let’s hear what the other panelists have to say with their own words. Comrade Melnick, does spray painting “Free Palestine” on a Jewish student organization constitute Antisemitism, yes or no?

Comrade Melnick:

FB: You endorse vandalism, noted. But you surely must think that calling for a violent uprising against the Jews is Antisemitism.

Comrade Melnick:

FB: But as a Jew, you must at least feel some sympathy towards how Jewish students are feeling right now, no?

Comrade Melnick:

FB: Got it. You are hopeless. Next panelist. Prof. Khayke Scottish, does literally committing genocide against Jews constitute Antisemitism, yes or no?

Prof. Scottish:

FB: Wow. Are you saying that killing Israeli civilians is OK?

Prof. Scottish:

FB: Aren’t you literally endorsing terrorism right now?

Prof: Scottish:

If… the War on Terror is a continuation of the settler conquest that established the United States, then “terrorism” becomes legible not as an ostensibly objective classification of a specific type of political violence, but rather as the ideological name for any resistance to colonization or refusal to acknowledge its goodness, rightness, morality, or legitimacy… From the point of view of an antimoral, liberatory queer theory, however, the “terrorist” as emissary of “death” is a figure of radical resistance whose commitment to decolonization - not implication in any sort of violence, however real or imagined - renders them a mortal threat to the settler social order. (Queer Terror, Intro, xxi)

FB: Just when we thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse. Let’s ask our last panelist, Sommer Forrester, what do you think of all this?

Sommer Forrester:

FB: We hear you, sis. Us too.

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What do you all think? Did we just identify the two prime candidates for the presidency of Harvard and Penn?