The Point(less): Slime and Putty
The Point(less): Slime and Putty
Headlines and News updates, November 2022
The university administration provides fun coloring pages for students to relieve their stress.1
Since the whiteboard use and the center-vs-margins opposition are two prominent pillars of whiteness, as well as the worship of the written word, the use of the whiteboards will be discontinued. Instructors will be required to use colorful slime and putty instead. Any mentioning of the inner areas of the slimes and putties will be disallowed to avoid invocation of the inside-vs-surface tension.
Plans to introduce a mandatory university-wide Land Acknowledgement were immediately scrapped after local Pawtucket and Massachusett representatives demanded the statement be followed up with actual land transfer. Our Supreme Leaders dropped the idea and it has not been heard of since.
“At UMass Boston, we democratize education”, says the fancy new campaign. It is hereby declared that students will determine their own curriculum and their own grades.
Construction updates: None.
Not a satire. It was part of a pre-Thanksgiving message sent to us by the Vice Chancellor for fun and games.