Self-Deception, Self-Deprecation, Self-Subservience

UMass Boston's 2026 Lavender Graduation is all about self exploration and self love... whatever that means

How many more "minorities", actual or manufactured, can disingenuous politicians grind into election cannon fodder? The playbook is exhausted but effective: a. isolate them, b. invent the oppression, c. promise protection, and d. demand absolute obedience.

The latest example comes from the UMass Boston’s trusty student newspaper, Hamass Media, titled “Self-Exploration, Self-Perseverance and Self-Love” that covers a "Lavender Graduation" held in self-imposed exile from the general student body. It was a joint venture between the Queer Student Center and the Women’s Center, though in 2026, the definition of a "woman" remains a mystery. They managed to subdivide the room even further: lavender cords for the queers, pink for the women. One wonders what the "queer women" wore? perhaps a striped hybrid?

Alas, we will never know the answer. We entertained the idea of attending and reporting live. After all, if everyone can identify as a queer and/or woman we would not even stick out like the sore thumbs we are, especially with our brand new bright green/purple wigs, but unfortunately we missed the RSVP and read about it after the fact.

Rather than academic achievements, the event celebrated "perseverance of LGBTQ+ students throughout their time at UMass Boston," framing college as a grueling journey and “a time for many queer students to discover who they truly are.” In other words - the “journey to discover who you truly are” is the one that leads you away from who you truly are, i.e., your birth sex, and into a uniform of neon hair, gym-aversion and some obscure “queer” identity that may or may not end up with some body parts chopped off and others implanted. This “struggle” is rewarded by a promise of a higher slot on the oppression totem pole: a hair’s breadth above white men and an inch above Jews, in admissions, internships, and jobs.

In exchange for these trinkets, our "marginalized" reliably deliver an 86/12 voting split. It translated to a significant number of potential voters, considering that nearly 25% of Massachusetts Gen Z now identify as LGBTQIAWTF+-.

How about we all just be friends? How about not dividing people “by the color of their hair”? No, no way! Shiny happy people might or might not give the aforementioned disingenuous politicians their votes, but corralled scared people reliably will.