Random vice-Supreme-Leader Generator

Artificial intelligence at its finest saves the day at UMass Boston

One day, as the vice-Supreme-Leader walked back to his car, he was hit in the head by a brick that fell out of the never-ending construction site. He was taken to the hospital but woke up to realize he had completely lost his memory: He had no recollection of who he was, let alone of him being the vice-Supreme-Leader. Fearing another never-ending search for a new vice-Supreme-Leader, the higher administration was desperate to find a solution. Luckily, the Computer science department was about to assign projects for the Software Engineering capstone.

A team of straight-A students was selected to carry out the highly confidential project - write a vice-Supreme-Leader-replacement system. What was thought to be a highly complicated undertaking turned out to be, in fact, quite simple: The main component was a random generator that created e-mails and editions of the Academic Quad. The generator was equipped with the following catch-phrases: “Equity”, “We at UMass Boston are committed to dismantling systemic WHITENESS and anti-blackness” , “Inclusive excellence”, “Racial and Social justice”, “Equity”, “systemic racism”, “Restorative justice”, “Equity”, “A new Vice Provost”, “Anti racist and health promoting”, “Identify as female”, “Equity”, and “Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated”. The phrases were shuffled at random, with random prepositions and articles, and the results was sent to the community every month.

The program had the capacity to connect to zoom with the vice-Supreme-Leader’s face and apply a text-to-speech system to the random quote generator.

To make the program more believable, it lacked the capacity to answer e-mails.

The project was so successful that no one ever noticed that the actual man was missing, not even the vice-Supreme-Leader himself, who miraculously regained his memory after two years and is still wondering why he is never invited to any meeting anymore.