For The Times!

UMass Boston announces a rebranding campaign

To offset the bad press that befell our beloved institution, the university declared a $1.3M rebranding campaign. The website announcing the campaign declares:

“UMass Boston is unique. We have long held a reputation as a research university and academic community that is open and welcoming to all…”

However, these days are no longer, and our reputation is tarnished. Therefore we designed a brand-new phallic logo which shows you exactly what we think of you.

Our previous slogan - “A research university with a teaching soul” has become obsolete, since Umass Boston no longer cares about research, is no longer serious about teaching and definitely has no soul.

Hence, we chose a new slogan: A university for the Times. Indeed, the Globe, the Chronicle, the Banner and the Daily Mail were already taken.