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[In The Interpretation of Dreams] Freud… theorized that unacceptable sexual wishes were repressed into the "System Unconscious". These wishes were made unconscious due to society's condemnation of premarital sexual activity, and this repression created anxiety.
— Psychoanalysis (Wikipedia).
The woke seem to be obsessed with sex. Well, so is almost everyone, but their obsession is, how shall we say it, somewhat kinky. Luckily, we are in 2024. No more do we need to squeeze illicit desires into dreams, mannerisms and Freudian slips and suffer the mental anxiety that’s sure to follows. Welcome to Psychoanalysis 2.0: one can now present his/her societally unacceptable drives in the open. Take for example sex with a couch. We admit we would never have thought of it ourselves. But a certain US vice presidential candidate recently did… Or did he?
We were still scratching our heads wondering how it even works, like, technically, the claim that the potential VPOTUS had sex with a couch turned out to be a shitpost:
J.D. Vance didn’t have sex with a couch…
— “J.D. Vance didn’t have sex with a couch. But he’s still extremely weird,” Vox, Jul 25, 2024
… unsubstantiated… The rumor stemmed from a troll post that used Vance's memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, as its basis.
— “'Couches For Kamala' Video in Response to JD Vance Allegations Goes Viral,” Newsweek, Jul 26, 2024.
This didn’t prevent the couches (including the analyst’s ones) from claiming oppression.
Next came “sex with dolphins”, which turned out to be an awkward attempt to warn about the dangers of the Internet, but dolphins may also get offended and leave, having thanked us for all the sex fish before leaving.
Even here at UMass Boston, our own Comrade Melnick seems to be dreaming about torturing monkeys by burning their genitals:
In reality, it was a dreadful mistake in one of the labs said running mate used to invest in, that left monkeys with burns on their genitals, but we shouldn’t let facts bother Comrade and his wild imagination.
One shouldn’t be surprised by all that. Comrade’s teachers and the woke spiritual leaders, Michel Foucault, Jacques Derrida, and Jean-Paul Sartre (FDS) went as far as filing a petition calling for a legalization of their flights of fancy, the famous May 1977 “Petition against age of consent laws.” It took humanity another almost fifty years to realize that one can fashion his/her vivid imagination into a political weapon.